THE KALEIDOSCOPE

often in our lives we come across a phase/phases which we cant identify leave alone solve it. I'm not talking about a particular situation here but a phase which can last anything from a couple of days to a few weeks or sometimes even stretching to months. During this time all you're drive , you're focus or whatever it is which keeps you going is wiped out and you're left with a garbled assortment of petty conversations , inconsequential comments from other people and a cocktail of extremely unimportant things mixed with you're lack of drive on what IS important leaving you in a complete mess !! The result , you start cribbing like a LOT , become so snappy that you put off people who are actually being  nice to you and have zero tolerance towards anything unpleasant . You become broody , impatient , moody so much so that you start disliking you're own attitude which trust me only worsens the condition. It's a lot like PMS except that you're PMSing for a really long time !!! you're life becomes a kaleidoscope , a mixture of everything , the filter in you're brain stops working and you're left to stare helplessly at a jumbled up mixture of things which you cant make sense off . The worst part about this phase is that the little soothing voice in you're head which keeps calming you down and maturely gives you a level headed solution suddenly becomes dormant so you're brain becomes a volcano ready to explode at the slightest provocation and starts screaming and cursing everytime anything out of the ordinary occurs.You want to run away but you don't know where , so you contain yourself and bottle everything up , you know that if you confide into anyone you'll sound like a raving psychopath so you crush it deep within you and keep smiling primly at everyone as though nothing is wrong.So what is the solution ? buy yourself a self help book? maybe it'll help you to an extent but you'll still be left in the dark. Confide into friends?parents? maybe even counsellers? no , all they'll give you is advice but that's just what they'll be able to do and that's the last thing you want because you're intelligent enough to have deduced and even try implementing the so called advice long before you've confided into them. It's easier said than done . The best solution according to me is give it some time , try not to keep thinking and keep you're brain beautifully blank with a conscious effort. That'll get rid of the noisy buzzing in you're brain which is strong enough to give you a headache ! Try making a pattern of the jumbled up mixture in you're life , you'll find a solution because even a kaleidoscope has a pattern . And even if you cant make any sense or pattern of whats going on , just hang in there because a very great man once said 'this too shall pass' , in no time you'll snap out of this phase and you'll even wonder how you got into it in the first place. And then at that time when you look back to where you are now don't regret or feel ashamed of yourself , because after all we are human and life isn't perfect and rosy always  you're boat is rocking at the moment  it'll stabilize by itself ,  at that time you can look back and pat yourself by saying , 'boy I got through that , I can get through anything' :-)